Bullying Doesn’t End at the School Gates – And It’s One of the Reasons I Created Women Talk

People often ask me why Women Talk means so much to me. Why I’m so passionate about creating a community where women feel safe, supported, accepted and able to be themselves.

And the truth is, a huge part of it comes from something I’ve experienced throughout so many different stages of my life.

Bullying Not just as a child, but as a teenager, a wife, a friend, an employee, a businesswoman and even amongst groups of women where I thought I’d finally found my people.
And I want to talk about it, because I think we sometimes forget that bullying doesn’t end when we leave school.

Sometimes it follows us throughout our lives, just wearing a different disguise.

The Little Girl Who Just Wanted to Fit In

I remember being at school and feeling different.
I had to wear a dental head brace. Not the discreet braces you often see today, but one with wires that came out of my mouth and attached to a brace around my head.

I even had to sit in school assemblies wearing it.
Can you imagine how that felt as a young girl, sitting amongst hundreds of other children, already feeling self-conscious, knowing people were staring, whispering and laughing?

And children can be cruel. I was severely bullied because of it. But that wasn’t the only thing.
I was also bigger than some of my friends. Looking back at photographs now, I wouldn’t even describe myself as fat, but at the time, that’s how other children made me feel. And when you’re young, you start believing what people tell you about yourself.
I was also frequently poorly at school. I would collapse, sometimes ambulances would be called, and nobody really seemed to know what was wrong with me.

Physical exercise could bring on these episodes, which meant PE lessons were particularly difficult.
But instead of understanding, there were comments.

‘Oh, the fat kid getting out of PE again.’

Imagine being a young girl, genuinely unwell, frightened because you don’t understand what’s happening to your own body, and having other children make you feel as though you’re faking it.
Years later, when I started my first YTS job and had access to private medical care, I finally discovered that I had a cyst on my kidney. By then, it was too late to save the kidney, and I had to have it removed. All those years of being poorly. All those times I’d been made to feel like I was making excuses.

There had been something seriously wrong all along.

And I often wonder how different things might have felt for that little girl if someone had simply shown her a little more kindness.=

When Bullying Comes From People You Trust

You’d like to think that once you leave school, things get easier.
That people grow up, become kinder, more understanding and more accepting of others.
But unfortunately, that hasn’t always been my experience.
I remember having someone I considered my best friend where I lived. Someone I should have felt safe around, someone I trusted.
But that friendship involved bullying and manipulation, and it wasn’t a healthy friendship at all.
And that’s something we don’t always talk about, is it?

Bullying doesn’t always come from someone who openly dislikes you. Sometimes it comes from someone who calls themselves your friend.

Sometimes it’s disguised as a joke. Sometimes it’s controlling behaviour. Sometimes it’s being made to feel guilty, being excluded, having your confidence chipped away or being made to question yourself.

I’ve experienced bullying in relationships too, including my first marriage.

I’ve experienced it in workplaces, in self-employment, in business circles, through acquaintances and collaborations with people I genuinely trusted.

And some of the most hurtful experiences have come from being amongst other women.
Women who should have been lifting one another up.

Instead, I’ve witnessed bitchiness, cliques, gossip, manipulation and situations where it feels like a group of people have turned against one person.

That horrible feeling of being talked about behind your back.
Of walking into a room and wondering who has been saying what.
Of feeling like you have to watch every word you say because you don’t know who you can trust.
And the thing is, those experiences don’t just hurt in the moment.
They change how you see yourself and how safe you feel around other people.

The Invisible Scars Bullying Leaves Behind

I think one of the biggest misconceptions about bullying is that once the behaviour stops, the damage stops too.
But it doesn’t always work like that.
Bullying can leave you questioning everything.
Am I good enough? Did I say something wrong? Why don’t they like me? Why am I always the one who doesn’t fit in?
You start second-guessing yourself. You become cautious about who you let close. You might stop speaking up, sharing your opinions or showing your true personality.
And sometimes, without even realising it, you start making yourself smaller just to avoid becoming somebody else’s target.
What makes me sad is knowing how many other women must be living like that.
Women who have been hurt by friendships. Women who have been excluded from groups. Women who have experienced toxic workplaces, controlling relationships or business environments where competition and gossip have replaced kindness.
Women who desperately want friendship, connection and belonging but are frightened of putting themselves out there again.
And I understand that fear.
Because I’ve felt it myself.

What Happens When You Can’t Find Somewhere You Feel Safe?

This is something I’ve thought about a lot.
Why is it sometimes so difficult to find a space where you can simply be yourself?
Where you don’t have to impress anyone, compete with anyone or worry about being judged?
Where you can walk into a room on your own and not feel like everybody else already belongs to a little group that you’re not part of?
Where you can speak openly without worrying that what you’ve shared will become somebody else’s conversation later?
And where women genuinely want the best for one another?
I spent so much of my life wanting to find that kind of environment.
And then I started thinking…

If I’ve struggled to find somewhere I truly feel safe and accepted, how many other women are feeling exactly the same?
How many women are sitting at home feeling lonely, disconnected or lacking confidence, but are too frightened to join something because of past experiences?
How many women have convinced themselves they’re better off staying away from groups because they’ve been hurt before?
And how many women have simply accepted that bitchiness, cliques and judgement are just part of being around other women?
Well, I don’t believe they have to be.
And I certainly don’t believe we should accept them.

So I Decided to Create What I Had Always Needed

This is one of the biggest reasons I created Women Talk.
Not because I wanted to build the biggest membership or fill rooms with hundreds of women.
But because I wanted to create something different.
Something I wish had existed for me at different points throughout my life.
A community where kindness isn’t just a nice word written on a website. It’s an expectation.
Where women don’t have to worry about fitting in with the right crowd, having the right job, looking a certain way or being at a particular stage of life.
Where nobody is made to feel less important than somebody else.
Where women can share their experiences without being judged, and where nobody feels pressured to talk about anything they’re not comfortable sharing.
And perhaps most importantly, somewhere where bullying, cliques, deliberate exclusion and women tearing other women down are simply not acceptable.
I know I can’t control how every person behaves, but as the founder, I can set the expectations, protect the culture and take action when behaviour doesn’t reflect what this community stands for.
I can be intentional about the environment we’re creating and the people who become part of it.
And that responsibility means an awful lot to me.
Because I know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of the opposite.

Women Talk Is More Than Just a Community

Today, Women Talk has different ways for women to come together.
There’s Women Talk Support Network, our online membership, where women can join conversations, coaching sessions and opportunities to connect with others who understand that life isn’t always easy.
And there’s Women Talk Together, our face-to-face gatherings, where women can come along, enjoy a cuppa, have real conversations, laugh, connect and build genuine friendships.
You don’t need to own a business. You don’t need to be confident. You don’t need to have your life together.
You don’t even need to have a particular reason for coming.
You can simply be a woman who would like to feel part of something.
And I want women to know that if they come along feeling nervous, worried about fitting in or frightened of being judged, I understand.
I’ve been that woman.
I’ve been the little girl who was laughed at.
I’ve been the friend who was manipulated.
I’ve been the woman who was bullied in relationships, workplaces and business environments.
I’ve been the woman who wondered whether she would ever find people she could completely trust.
And now I get to take those experiences and use them to create something better.

Turning Pain Into Purpose

I can’t go back and protect that little girl sitting in assembly wearing her head brace.
I can’t take away the comments about her weight or the cruel things people said when she was genuinely poorly.
I can’t change the friendships, relationships or situations where people made me feel small.
And I can’t undo the times I trusted people who didn’t treat that trust with care.
But what I can do is make a conscious decision about what I create from those experiences.
I can choose kindness over judgement.
Inclusion over cliques.
Encouragement over competition.
And women supporting women rather than tearing each other down.
Because I’ve come to realise something.

Sometimes the very thing you spent years searching for is the thing you’re meant to create.
And that’s what Women Talk means to me.
It’s not just a membership. It’s not just a meetup. It’s not just another group of women getting together.
It’s my way of taking some of the most painful experiences of my life and trying to make sure another woman doesn’t have to feel the same way in a community I’ve created.
Will I always get everything right? Probably not. I’m human, and so is everybody who joins us.
But I will always care about the culture we’re building, the way women are treated and the importance of making people feel welcome, heard and valued.
Because no woman should have to make herself smaller just to feel accepted.

Maybe You’ve Been That Woman Too?

Maybe you’ve experienced bullying yourself.
Maybe you’ve been hurt by people you trusted, excluded from friendship groups or made to feel that you weren’t good enough.
Maybe you’ve stopped putting yourself out there because the thought of walking into another room full of women feels terrifying.
Or maybe you’ve simply never found a community where you feel you can be completely yourself.
If any of that resonates with you, I want you to know that you’re not alone.
And I’d love to invite you to discover Women Talk.
Whether that’s joining us for a face-to-face Women Talk Together meetup or becoming part of Women Talk Support Network online, you’re welcome to come as you are.
No pretending. No pressure to share your story. No need to prove yourself.
Just women coming together, having conversations that matter, building friendships and supporting one another through whatever life brings.
Because after everything I’ve experienced, one thing I know for certain is this…

I can’t change the way people treated me in the past. But I can help shape the way women are treated in the community I’m building today.

And if even one woman walks away from Women Talk feeling accepted, valued and a little more confident in herself, then every bit of love and energy I pour into it is worth it.

I couldn’t always find my safe place. So I decided to create one. 💗